“I should have handmade his coordinating birthday party decorations…”
“I didn’t wear makeup to preschool drop-off, now I look like I don’t have my life together…”
“I don’t have shiplap in ANY rooms of my home…”
“This house is too cluttered with toys to invite anyone over…”
“I really should feed them organic food…”
“It’s Christmas Eve and I didn’t even make ONE batch of sugar cookies…”
Is this just my mind?? Or is this your mind, too?? I know from the popularity of Pinterest that I’m not alone in struggling with mommy guilt. We can never do enough, make enough, craft enough, redecorate enough to feel that we are enough for anyone.
But here’s the truth: You are enough.
God made you to be ENOUGH when you’re depending on Him to help you and lead you.
This guilt that we feel? It’s a lie. I’ll tell you why.
Jesus tells us in John that Satan is a LIAR (John 8:44). He says that lying is Satan’s “native language” (NIV). He is a liar. Satan is not going to wiggle his way into your life and tell you the truth. It’s not going to happen. He may tell you the partial truth. But what is the partial truth? A lie. Satan tells lies. He is a liar. I don’t know about you, but if someone was constantly telling me, to my face, every day, that I’m not good enough, I would tell them to “GO AWAY!!!” If someone was constantly telling your family and your children that they aren’t good enough, what would you do? You’d tell them to “GO AWAY!!”
We can do that. Here’s why – Jesus already beat Satan. When Jesus defeated death by raising to life 3 days after he gave up His life, He beat Satan. We no longer need to fear the devil. He’s already lost. He’s just thrashing around and throwing a fit about losing until God throws him away for good in the end. In Jesus, WE HAVE VICTORY. As Christians, we are on the winner’s side. So, we can say, “GO AWAY!!!!” to Satan once we’ve submitted our lives to God.
Now…back to mommy guilt. Satan is a liar. This guilt that we feel for silly things – it’s a lie. When the Bible refers to guilt, it refers to guilt that results from a sin. In researching for this article, I did not find a Bible reference for guilt resulting from failing to meet self-imposed standards of perfection. In other words, I didn’t find a single verse that addresses guilt felt for not being a perfect mom, wife, homemaker, etc. Not one.
Guilt when felt because of sin – yes. We should feel guilty when we sin. That guilt drives us to ask for forgiveness.
Guilt because we didn’t offer organic, sugar-free treat baggies in the shape of turkeys to our child’s preschool class before Thanksgiving break? That’s a lie.
When we choose to dwell on the guilt, we are choosing to dwell on Satan’s words. We are essentially saying, “YES” to Satan’s lies, and “NO” to God’s freedom. We are choosing to fill our minds with Satan’s words instead of God’s.
As Christians, we are to compare ourselves to God. We are not to compare ourselves to other people (other Instagram moms, Bloggers, Decorators). We can find inspiration and ideas, yes. But when that inspiration starts taking over our minds so much that we are obsessing over our ideal identity, spending more time on those things than with our families, ministries, or our time with God, we have a problem. When our satisfaction/identity is dependant on Pinterest check-lists, pretty houses, Insta- followers, and social media likes, we have said “Yes” to Satan.
Are Pinterest check lists, pretty houses, Insta-followers, and social media likes bad things? No! I depend on some of those things every day. But when those things become my attempt for ridding my life of mommy-guilt, I’m listening to the devil. When those things begin to effect my mood and my relationships, I’m giving the devil too much room in my life.
When I dwell on mommy-guilt, I’m saying, “YES” to Satan’s lies. When I’m dwelling on those lies, I leave no room for the TRUTH.
Philippians 4:8 tells me to think of things that a true, noble, right, pure, lovely, and admirable. God tells me that He will keep me in perfect peace when my mind is fixed on Him. Doesn’t that sound refreshing?
It’s a daily exercise in refocusing from LIES/Mommy Guilt to the TRUTH.
Choose to say “YES” to God’s truth. God says that we a wonderfully made. He says that we are to compare ourselves to Him and no one else. He says that He created good works for us to do before we were ever born. He says that His mercies are new EVERY MORNING.
Say “YES” to God’s truth. When Mommy-Guilt rears it’s ugly lying head, tell it to “GO AWAY” and repeat one of these verses. ASK GOD TO HELP! He will. He wants better for us than we want for our children. He will help you say “YES” to His truth and “NO!” to the lies of the devil.
Philippians 4:8 – Whatever is true, noble, right, pure, lovely, or admirable…think on these things
Isaiah 26:3 – He will keep him in perfect peace whose mind is focused on Him because he trusts in Him
Psalm 139:14 – I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.
2 Corinthians 10:12 – …But when they measure themselves by one another and compare themselves with one another, they are without understanding.
Ephesians 2:10 – For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good
works, which God prepared in advance for us to do
Lamentations 3:22-23 – The LORD’S lovingkindnesses indeed never cease, For His compassions never fail. They are new ever morning; Great is Your faithfulness.
Sign up to receive a FREE “Saying ‘No’ to Mommy Guilt” printable! Hang it wherever you spend most of your day (in the kitchen?? hiding with chocolate in the pantry?? at work??). It will be an easy way to SPEAK TRUTH out loud when you’re tempted to believe Satan’s LIES of Mommy Guilt.
As a bonus, you’ll receive 6 FREE lock screens with these verses as an easy reminder of GOD’S TRUTH!!