Overwhelmed

It was one of those days when there had been too many tantrums. We were all tired. Errands had been a failure because of meltdowns and emotions. We all needed naps.

After the boys were tucked into their rooms for rest/nap time, I turned on some music. The song “Overwhelmed” played. I’ve not been able to listen to this song and keep a dry eye since the first time I heard it. I think it’s impossible to listen to that song and not replay the births of my boys in my mind. I gazed adoringly at my 4 month old asleep in his swing and let out a sigh of overwhelming emotion about the morning.

It’s those times when you wonder, “how am I supposed to handle this?” “how am I supposed to react right now?” “do I show grace or do I discipline this?” It’s the times when something doesn’t seem quite right. When you know there is something bigger than yourself – something that has a hold on your child. It was that kind of sigh.

The Holy Spirit immediately washed over me and said, “be overwhelmed with God.”

BE OVERWHELMED WITH GOD.

I let go of my frustration and asked to be overwhelmed with all things God. Because I know that without Him working in and through me, I will fail at this motherhood thing. I will fail my boys and my husband without Him. It’s those days when I reach for His hand and His wisdom every.single.moment that I’m reminded that I CANNOT do this. I AM NOT ENOUGH. But God is.

If I’m overwhelmed with Him, if my heart is full of Him, my mouth will speak Him. (Matthew 12:34 – Out of the fullness of the heart, the mouth speaks.)

I need to be overwhelmed with His grace, His love, His goodness, His forgiveness, His mercy, His creativity, His compassion, His joy, His peace, His safety, His promises, His energy. I need to let myself be overwhelmed with His promises that He will never leave me, that I can cast ALL of my cares on Him, that He will carry my burdens, that He has GOOD plans for me and my babies, and that He loves my babies more than I can ever dream.

Sigh.

And that’s a sigh of knowing I can do this because He’s carrying ALL of us. Every.single.day.

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